5: The Final Boss Rematch
You beat the lad once, twice, or maybe even three times but still the persistent mongrel comes back for more. Only this time... it's personal!
4: Now, Are You A Boy Or A Girl?
They all say that video game characters are constantly developing more human-like emotions, yet, after all this so-called evolution, they still have the cheek to ask you what's between your legs... Ignorant bastards, the lot of them!
3: Nobody Can See You If You Crouch
Not only that but if you hide for long enough even the most seasoned of soldiers will forget they were looking for the assassin who just murdered their best friends.
2: Indestructible Appliances
You can always break walls and shatter mirrors, but vending machines are immobile motherfuckers. They could easily put the enemy's tanks to shame which is why I want to know what's stopping your foe from just making a fortress out of these stubborn devices.
1: Think You're Going to Start a Long and Dangerous Quest With Good Weapons?
Well think again! It seems that heroes are unlucky enough to be born in towns that import wooden swords and shields only. If only they lived closer to the town under the black cloud circling the giant, spiked castle.